Ash Ketchum Goes to the Orphanage and Catches an Orphanmon
by ham on italian bread w cheese
Summary: In this exhilarating episode of the Pokemon franchise, Ash Ketchum goes to the Ed Gein Memorial Orphanage to catch one of the hardest to acquire Pokemon of all: the Orphanmon.


Ash Ketchum strolled into the Ed Gein Memorial Orphanage with a swagger in his step, as if he had eaten half a dozen Kit Kat bars beforehand, and planted himself in the middle of the lobby with his hands firmly on his hips. All the little orphans that were running around the orphanage stopped to stare at this marvellous man who now stood among them, never having seen a real live adult before (aside from the Orphanmaster). They were all clad in various mixtures of overly large, stained t-shirts, unchanged diapers, and tight pants on the verge of falling apart. They were a sorry lot, but it was all the government had to offer them in the post-Pokemon revolution world they lived in. Perhaps, though, this mystical man that had entered their lives would change all that for at least one of them.

"Bring me your master!" Ash shouted to no orphan in particular, and after a moment of stunned silence, they scattered across the halls of the orphanage in search of the Orphanmaster. It didn't take long for them to find him, and he began walking down the hall towards the lobby, his thunderous steps resounding throughout the poorly constructed building.

"Who is it that dares to disturb my orphans?" asked a deep voice, one clearly belonging to one of no small stature. Surely enough, this was confirmed as he rounded the corner and came into view. He was a huge man, clad in what looked like a suit without a jacket, although it was difficult to tell through all the stains and with the tie hanging loose around the shirt's collar. Wrapped around his waist was a rawhide leather belt, made of what looked to be human (and probably orphan) skin, with various keys and a black truncheon hanging from it. There was no doubt in Ash's mind, this was the Orphanmaster, but he would not let the man's intimidating appearance deter him from his goal.

"It is I, Ash Ketchum, catcher of all the Pokemons and battler of them all, too! I am here to catch an Orphanmon!" Ash shouted loudly, taking a few steps towards the Orphanmaster so that they stood face to face. At this, the Orphanmaster laughed, a hearty sound that managed to fill the orphans with fear even with its amused and irreverent tone.

"If you wish to take one of my orphans as your own, you will have to defeat me in a Pokemon battle," the Orphanmaster said between bouts of laughter. "and rest assured, nobody has ever done that since the day Ed Gein died and had this orphanage erected in his honour!"

"This orphanage has not seen a Pokemon master of my calibre since that time, either." Ash said, a cocky smirk evident on his face. The Orphanmaster took pause at this, slightly deterred by the conviction with which Ash spoke, but quickly returned to his confident self.

"Then choose your Pokemon, Ash, and tell it your goodbyes." With that, the Orphanmaster turned around and grabbed a nearby orphan, running a few steps away from Ash before hurling the young child onto the ground between them. The child was young enough that their face was rather androgynous, but Ash guessed from the long hair and clearly exposed vagina that this one was a girl. Having stared at an underage girl's vagina for long enough, Ash reached for his belt and retrieved a Pokeball, quickly throwing it onto the ground and grabbing a lasso positioned right behind it. Whirling it around in the air, he threw it towards a young boy and yanked him towards himself, sending the orphan tumbling to the ground at his feet.

"I choose you, Orphanchu!" Ash screamed at the boy, grabbing a whip from the other end of his belt and flicking it at the air with a sharp snap. "Get up, Orphanchu, we got a fight to win!" The boy looked shocked and confused at first, but another warning crack of Ash's whip quickly got the message across, and he pulled himself to his feet just fast enough to get hit by the Orphanmaster's girl barrelling into him. It seemed that while Ash was choosing a Pokemon and preparing for battle, the Orphanmaster had been preparing a surprise throw attack!

"Quitting already, Ash?" The Orphanmaster asked in a mocking tone, following it up with more throes of laughter. Ash didn't respond to his jibes, instead grabbing a chunk of brick from the floor and smashing it into the female orphan's skull, cracking it open with ease and killing her instantly. Afterwards, he grabbed the body and tossed it into the corner, where it landed with a meaty thump and laid still. The Orphanmaster's laughter quickly turned into a gaze of pure anger, followed by him stomping over towards Ash with fists clenched.

"What was that? That's no fair, your Pokemon didn't even use any moves! You cheated!" the Orphanmaster screamed, the quickly rising pitch of his voice starting to hurt Ash's ears.

"The brick maneuver was approved in 2043 as legitimate. Don't be a sore loser," Ash said, crossing his arms defiantly and giving the Orphanmaster a wide screen. He held out one hand to receive his prize money, as was customary. The Orphanmaster, unable to come up with a retort, simply shoved 500 Poke into his waiting palm and turned on his heels, storming back to whatever dank room he had come from. No doubt the orphans would go to bed hungry that night, but it was for a good cause. Ash grabbed his orphan, thoroughly dazed after being struck by such a strong blow, and turned him over his knee before pulling down his diaper. He used his free hand to pull an expandable electric brand from his belt, fitted with an iron of a stylized depiction of his face, used to make sure that no other trainer would be able to steal his new Pokemon and get away with it.

"Don't worry, little guy, this'll be over soon," Ash whispered into the orphan's ear, who was just beginning to get his bearings back. He didn't do it quite fast enough, however, and had no idea what was going on until his backside was filled with the sensation of a 700°F piece of metal pressing against it firmly. He immediately let out an ear piercing screech and tried to wriggle free, but Ash held him steady with one hand while continuing to apply pressure with the other for a good 5 seconds before removing the brand. He flicked a switch on the handle and collapsed it back into itself, hanging it from his belt. The orphan had stopped wriggling at this point and simply laid there, unmoving, with tears streaming from his eyes and heavy sobs coming from his throat. Ash, knowing that eventually he would be forgiven and they would become the best of partners, slung the orphan over one shoulder and walked out the front door towards the Pokemon Center, the first stop on their new adventure.


End file.
